My Secret Fear, Part 2

I think usually when we’re scared of something it’s because we fear that thing hurting us in some way. Sometimes this is emotional pain,  but other times, like with canes, it’s physical pain. And the only way to overcome fear is to do the thing you’re afraid of.

Stop there for a minute and think about that. There’s no magic potion, no 12 step program, no easy out. You have to do it.

Even realizing this, I didn’t mention my growing interest in canes to Master at first. I wanted to research and gain more information before I did that. So I talked with some friends in the lifestyle. Read several websites I trusted and when I finally approached him, I thought he’d plan a scene for the next weekend. 

Never let it be said he doesn't surprise me. When I told him I was curious and wanted to change my limit, he didn’t jump at the chance to use one.  In fact, he didn’t do anything, he simply spoke.

“It’s not enough to be curious, you have to know beyond a doubt that you want to change that limit.”

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My Secret Fear, Part 1

Canes have been a hard limit from the time I filled out my first checklist. They’re canes. They hurt. I’m not a masochist, I don’t like pain.

But Master has always liked them and I had never been able to reconcile why. 

I should state, when I listed them as a hard limit, he accepted that and didn’t try to change my mind. In fact, he never brought them up again. But they never left my mind and as I grew in the lifestyle and talked with others, I began to see canes in a different light. 

Which made me ask myself, What was I so scared of?

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My S'more Secret

Funny how I mentioned my love of winter yesterday.  Last night we were sitting in front of the fire and Sir decided we should roast marshmallows. I looked at him like he’d lost his mind. 

“Marshmallows, really?” I asked.

“Yes, I’ll go get them and while I’m gone, you can take off your gown.”

Keep in mind, this was a weekday, so I didn’t have his collar on. I didn’t have to listen to him. But I was insanely curious about why we would be roasting marshmallows, much less doing it naked.

He didn’t take his clothes off, but started heating a couple marshmallows in the fireplace. He only brought one stick; there wasn’t anything for me to do except watch. Which, as you can imagine, got a bit boring after awhile.

But when he turned away from the fire and faced me, there was a look in his eyes that made me gulp. He let the marshmallow cool slightly and then he stuck his finger in it. 

“Offer me your breasts.”

I lifted them, suddenly realizing why only one of us was naked.

He split the marshmallow open and ran the cut side over my nipple. Fuck, it was hot, but only for  a minute and he dipped his head to suck the sticky white goo off.

“Oh, fuck,” I said as he did the same to the other side.

“Better than s’mores.”

He prepared two more marshmallow to put in the fire. While they were roasting, he looked over his shoulder to where I was sitting and gave me an evil grin.

“Part those pretty legs for me.”

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My Secret Season

Though I love warm weather, I enjoy the winter months, too. When the temperature drops and the snow coats everything white. On weekends, Master and I will come in from outside and put pillows down in front of the fireplace. He'll pull me into his arms and we'll spend the evening talking.

Sometimes the summer seems so busy, there's always something to do. I often feel guilty if I'm not in the middle of some task. But on winter nights, there's no rush.  There's only the two of us and however we chose to spend the time. 

I love how protected I feel with his arms surrounding me, the fireplace crackling in the background, and the warm of us together. 

Don't tell summer, but I think winter is my favorite season.

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My Secret Hopes For 2015

It's late and the house is quiet. He has given me this time to contemplate the coming year. I told Him I didn't do resolutions, but He simply laughed and said He didn't care what I called them, to get busy.

So here is my List of Things I Will Strive for in 2015:

1. He suggested the blog since I enjoy writing and have filled several notebooks. I will strive to update several times a week.

2.  I will study and improve my German. I'm hopeful this will continue to help me delay my orgasm. Master joked that the alphabet is getting repetitive, I want to surprise Him.  Of course, He'll read this, so SURPRISE!

3.  I will commit to yoga three times a week. Hint: we should do couples yoga again.

4.  I will strive to educate others about our lifestyle.

5.  I will laugh more.

6. I will make sure Master knows how much I love and adore Him.

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